How
do I know I'm a sex addict?
We try not
to decide for you. Take a look at the 12 question
self assessment on the SAA website: http://saa-recovery.org/12ques.htm.
One way of knowing is looking honestly at your life and
sexual behaviors. Has acting out sexually caused
your life to be unmanageable? Have you acted out
despite knowing it was wrong or dangerous or risky? Getting
into trouble (or the fear of) over our sex addiction
is what has brought most of us here.
What
do I need to do to get better?
SAA is a
program of action. Suggested actions include going to
meetings (some of us do 90 meetings in 90 days when
we are getting started), reading recovery literature (http://www.saa-recovery.org/store
),calling
or e-mailing other members, working the 12 steps,
practicing the principle of rigorous honesty, getting
involved in service. There are many others. It
is also suggested to get a sponsor whose recovery
you like and be willing to take some guidance.
What
is a sponsor?
A sponsor
is someone you can work through the steps with or call
when you need to "have a meeting" in between
meetings. A sponsor can help you deal with the
inevitable challenges of getting and keeping sexual
abstinence.
How
do I get a sponsor?
There are
no formal guidelines in SAA for getting a sponsor.
Here are some suggestions: a) go to lots of
meetings: the more meetings, the more potential sponsors
you'll meet b) pray that the right person will
appear, c) just ask someone, d) find someone who has the
time to spend with you that you require, e) write down all
the things you want in a sponsor and the things you
don't need, f) reach out at meetings and share that
you would like to get a sponsor, g) be patient: "the
teacher will appear when the student is ready."
Do
I have to talk at the meeting?
No. We
encourage you to listen to what others have to share and
try to IDENTIFY. Share when you feel the desire to
share. Just begin speaking during the sharing
time and try to be as honest as possible about what brings
you to the meeting. You don't need to raise your
hand.
How
many people usually go to the meeting?
The number
varies but generally the Tuesday night meeting is bigger
than the Friday night. Friday night we usually have
at least 6 and sometimes up to 16.
Can
I bring my spouse/partner to the meeting?
The Tuesday
night meeting is Men only Closed but the Friday night
meeting is Mixed Open which means that on Friday you can
bring your spouse/partner. Some new members
bring their spouse/partner to the first meeting but after
that they usually come alone. We have been trying to
get a CoSA (Co-sex addicts) meeting started at the church
for a long time but as of now there isn't one.
However, we encourage spouses/partners to go to http://www.cosa-recovery.org/ to
find a meeting near you or to get materials to start your
own.
What
is a meditation meeting?
Our
meditation meeting allows us some quiet time to relax,
pray, meditate, or just sit quietly. We read the
most recent 7 days from Answers in the Heart, try
to contemplate what the reading means for our sexual
recovery, and then share our thoughts, feelings, and
experiences in regard to the reading, our week, and/or our
sexual recovery in general.
Is
this the only kind of meeting?
No.
There are many kinds of meetings including Open, Closed,
Mixed, Couples, and Men or Women Only. The Tuesday
Claremont meeting is Closed Men Only and the Friday
Claremont meeting is Open, Mixed. Spouses are
welcome Friday!
What
is an open, mixed meeting?
According
to the International Service Office of SAA, an open
meeting is a meeting that anyone can attend. A mixed
meeting means that men and women are welcome.
Should
I be concerned about incriminating myself?
Yes.
If you've done something illegal that involves a minor,
rape, or HIVs engaging in unsafe sex, please be
discrete. The general rule is to not mention names,
relationships, times, and locations of incidents.
This is to protect yourself as well as the meeting and SAA
from outside interference.
